Lakeside Restaurant (Karri Valley Resort), Pemberton, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

Holidays Down South are some of the most cherished memories of my childhood, and few places are imbued with more nostalgia than Karri Valley. Along with Albany, Karri Valley Resort was our favourite destination for family holidays Down South, and I vividly remember canoeing on the lake with my Dad while wearing my favourite stripy t-shirt, walking a section of the Bibbulman for the first time on the opposite side of the lake, and games nights of Celebrity Heads, Monopoly and Scrabble with family and friends whenever we stayed in one of the larger chalets. It was where I celebrated my 13th birthday, and there are albums we listened to while driving through the karri forests that to this day bring back fond memories of a happy childhood.

Steak and Food Concepts 2, Bull Creek, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

As much as I sometimes have a craving for cheap and greasy combination plate/food court Chinese, the sight of Sweet and Sour Pork is always a signifier that the food is most probably not going to be very authentic. It's not that I'm being fussy - I'll still eat it as I sometimes crave its trashiness - but I'm always aware of the fact that this is Asian food bastardised for Western tastes. Sweet and Sour Pork is an easy target for derision since it seems more loved by people of European descent than Asian, however what is not as often acknowledged in the criticism of Westernised Asian food is the lack of authenticity in Easternised European cooking. In my early years growing up in a first generation Australian household, my parents often cooked European food the way they learnt to make it in Singapore because they just didn't know any better at the time. They wouldn't cook like this anymore of course (my Mum is a devoted disciple of Jamie Oliver), so its been a long time since I last tried anything like the home cooked 'European' food of my early childhood. That was until Alissa and I visited the oddly named Steak and Food Concepts 2.

Cafe 140, Bunbury, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

During the Queen's Birthday weekend, Alissa and I joined a group of friends for a getaway in Dunsborough to celebrate the birthday of our friend Annaliese, as well as personal milestones like the end of Alissa's teaching prac, and my joy at seeing the end of the WA Day to Queen's Birthday public holiday drought. On our way home on the Monday, Alissa, our friend Ben and I decided to stop into Bunbury for lunch. In the past, Alissa and I have always popped into Benesse for our breakfast pit stop on the way Down South, but after walking to see the birds in Anzac Park we decided to have our lunch at Cafe 140, located nearby at the end of the Victoria St main drag.

Darlings Supper Club, Northbridge, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

Edit: This is a review of the earlier, not particularly great original menu served at Darlings. For the more recent and vastly improved menu, check out the more recent review here. 

Alissa and I are massive fans of Varnish on King. Ostensibly a whiskey and wine bar, the quality of the food that they serve is as impressive as their drinks list, with their Beef Short Ribs and Sweet Potato dishes being some of the most memorable and satisfying dishes we've eaten in the last year. So when we heard that Varnish's owner Andy Freeman had just opened an Asian Fusion venue in the form of Darlings Supper Club, we quickly added it to our list of places to check out. With a Truffle Degustation at 1907 and the final service of Dear Friends taking priority due to their limited nature, our planned dinner at Darlings fell by the wayside. Additionally, with early reviews a bit mixed, we decided to give them a bit of time to settle in before we finally popped in for an impromptu dinner in early September.

G'Fun Cafe, O'Connor, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

When talking about cheap eats, I think there's a distinction to be made between Cheap Eats and Super Cheap Eats. The Melbourne and Sydney Good Food Guide supplement for Cheap Eats draws the line at $30, and a place like Pinchos is a good example of that kind of restaurant; $30 for tapas is really good value (with drinks on top of that). At G'Fun in O'Connor, you can get an appetizer/snack, a main meal and a drink, and still get change from $10. And if you're not that hungry you can get change from a fiver just for a main meal. That's got to be one of the biggest bargains in town.























Located in what used to be an Italian Restaurant in the South St row of shops as a McDonald's and a Red Rooster, the oddly named G'Fun Cafe has been a regular haunt for my family, especially when my father and I used to work just 5 minutes away. Lunch run orders for up to 10 people were not unheard of since at prices this low its a pretty easy sell, and we still offhandedly refer to it simply as 'Cheap Chinese'. G'Fun is owned by a fairly enterprising family who have worked out that there is a profit to be made if you open up near a university and offer no-frills meals for dirt cheap prices. I used to frequent their older store in Nedlands during my UWA art school days, and recently discovered it has since been rebranded under the G'Fun name.

The interior is an odd, spartan combination of standard cafe tables and decor that seems like it came free with the store when it transitioned from Italian restaurant to feeding bargain hunters and hungry student masses.

Obviously too expensive to pull out, the old pizza oven remains, though I'm sure it has not been used for years now. Though keeping elements of the old store, G'Fun have recently renovated their counter space by moving the hot display cabinets closer to the kitchen and moving the condiment station further away - all good and logical moves to make the busy weekday lunchtime service as fluid as possible. Alissa and I came on a lazy Sunday afternoon, hence the emptiness in the photos above.

Usually we would get one or the other, but for the benefit of demonstration Alissa and I ordered two items each from their small snack selection - Stuffed Crab Claws and Spring Rolls. Both are fairly standard examples of the dishes that are probably frozen bulk buys quickly fried up for sale. Which is not to say we didn't enjoy them; the Crab meat (and probably filler) is sweet and deliciously tender, though having been in the food warmer lacks the crispness that it would have hot and fresh out of a fryer. The spring rolls are also tasty, but again suffer from a lack of crispness.

Being the noodle fiend that I am, I decided that the Dry Noodles with Roast Chicken was the way to go. The noodles were fairly standard for this type of dish, with the roast chicken being quite juicy in spite of being a piece of breast meat. The addition of some greenery helped make the dish have the semblance of healthiness and I enjoyed it for what it is and is something of a regular order for me. You're not going to be mistaking this for the handmade noodles of Kitchen Inn anytime soon, however when you're looking at paying around $6 (including a 50c dine in surcharge you can simply avoid by ordering it to go) you can't really complain.

For a point of difference, Alissa went with their Chicken Rice with Barbecue Chicken. Interestingly enough, G'Fun don't serve any pork dishes and thus make their char siu out of chicken. I've never quite understood why they do this since they make a beef curry and teriyaki fish, however I'd have to assume they must get some kind of amazing deal on bulk chicken due to the amount of food they sell during peak times, or they have religious views that preclude dining on swine. Their signage refers to their chicken rice as 'famous', and while this might be justified by G'Fun being renowned for being cheap, its definitely not the best chicken rice I've had. Chicken rice made the legit Hainanese way has a stronger, fattier flavour to the rice and a characteristic oiliness. This chicken rice is probably healthier, and has enough of the chicken flavour in the rice to be tasty by itself without any sauce. The char siu style chicken actually tastes fairly similar to real char siu, with a nice sweetness and the blackened edges signs of that smokey barbecue touch. As with the noodles, this is not going to be replacing your favourite chicken rice stall anytime soon but for $5 ($4.50 takeaway) its almost absurdly cheap.

The Verdict: Good
Okay, so its not the most exciting place to eat, but it fulfills the same role as Taka's Kitchen does for Japanese food by providing tasty Chinese at highly affordable rock bottom prices. This is not the kind of thing that is worth driving long distances for, but if you're living in the Melville area and are looking for a bargain you could do a lot worse than G'Fun Cafe. A word of warning though; Alissa and I have repeatedly made the mistake of driving to G'Fun for a weekend dinner only to find the place closed; they only do a lunch service on Saturdays and Sundays, and their opening hours are always a little off-kilter around public holidays.

Taka's Kitchen (Shafto Lane), Perth, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

Taka Japanese Cuisine (AKA Taka's Kitchen) needs little in the way of an introduction. Its Fremantle branch was the place that introduced me to Japanese food back in the '90s, a time when sushi was still a little alternative and Matsuri was considered one of the best Japanese restaurants in town (oh how times have changed). Given its remains a renowned and popular cheap and cheerful Perth institution in spite of better Japanese restaurants having opened in its wake, blogging about it might seem a little unnecessary. However, with the addition of ramen to their menu sometime in the last 2 years or so, my goal of eating and rating every ramen in Perth would not be complete without giving my thoughts on their version of one of my favourite dishes.

While saving for our honeymoon, Alissa and I often found ourselves at the Barrack St store when our budget couldn't be stretched beyond their super cheap prices. Taka's is like McDonald's as its pretty consistent from store to store, so having parked at the west end of the CBD we decided to visit their branch in Shafto Lane for a change.

The layout is very similar to the Barrack St store - numerous tables lined up to form two rows in a large share table/mess hall configuration, with smaller 4-person tables on the sides. There also is bar seating for periods of extreme capacity, though I can't recall them ever being used when I've been in.

My order of Ramen Noodles came served with chicken, boiled egg and seaweed in broth. The broth seemed to be a kind of Shoyu-based broth with a strong chicken flavour, and was sweeter and milder than the Miso or Tonkotsu styles. It was quite tasty in its own right, reminding me of the Asian-style Maraconi Chicken Soup I often ate as a child, and was more successful than the the tasteless tonkotsu broth at Zensaki. Still, it couldn't compare to the more complex flavours of heartier (though less healthy) broth styles found at Nao, Arigataya and Kai.

The noodles served here were described as 'thin egg noodles', thankfully not the thin egg noodles served with wanton noodles, but something with the expected ramen thickness and appearance. The use of egg in ramen is something I find a little controversial as the yellow colour is traditionally a product of alkaline salts (kansui) rather than egg content. Nao's much lauded ramen is also made with egg content, so its not like Taka's are the only ones doing this. Overall the noodles had a nice toothsome bite that I appreciated. Though they were no where near as as good as Kai or Nao, they were an improvement on the overcooked mee pok-style noodles served at Arigataya. The topping of chicken was the Taka's Teriyaki Chicken Standard Issue they use in many of their dishes. This was decent enough, though far from the best Teriyaki Chicken I've had; Karaage would have been preferable. Finally, the boiled egg was just that - a boiled egg, not the marinated egg with the slightly liquid yolk I've had at other places, but at least lacking the blue ring of overcookedness.

For a point of difference, Alissa went with the Teriyaki Chicken Udon, which contains the same standard Teriyaki Chicken that came with my ramen.. For a mass production no-frills place like Taka's I was expecting that the broth served here would perhaps be identical to the Shoyu broth used in the ramen noodles or the same as the miso soup that comes with all the large serves of rice dishes. So I was quite surprised to find that it was a different, thinner broth in keeping with the udon style. The broth and noodles tasted correct for the style, but it was inferior to versions made by Kai and Zensaki which come with mixed tempura and soft shell crab respectively.

Feeling like sharing a side of something, Alissa and I ordered a plate of the Chicken Karaage, which came with rice and a serve of Miso Soup which we didn't eat. I've ordered this dish many times in the past and its surprisingly good for what it is, having that nice, gingery flavour and crispiness you'd expect from a good Karaage.  It was better than Zensaki's Karaage, though Alissa and I agreed we like our standard order of Karaage at Kai's a lot more.

The Verdict: Good
Taka's are far from my favourite Japanese restaurant in town, however at such a low price point they practically rule the budget Japanese market. And with good reason, as they are great value from a price to quality perspective. Their ramen was not exactly the most exciting ramen I've had, but it was at least tasty and enjoyable; if it didn't reach the level of Nao or Kai, it at least didn't fail at achieving an aspect of the dish as recent bowls at Zensaki and Arigataya did (bad broth and bad noodles respectively). Alissa and I have tried most of Taka's dishes over many years of eating here, and while its never mindblowing its always at least satisfying. On a budget? Want Japanese? Go to Taka's.

Zensaki Sushi and Izakaya (Barrack St Branch), Perth, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

If Alissa would let me, I would eat ramen every day of the week. In a lot of ways its my perfect dish - noodles (my carb weakness), pork and/or fried chicken, and a broth seemingly invented by people trying to figure out how to make each slurp so rich in glutamate content that its an umami explosion. So when I discovered Zensaki have been doing ramen for years and I'd never noticed, this was a situation that needed to be rectified quickly. Would I discover a new worthy competitor for the title of 'Perth's Best Ramen?'

Located on Barrack St between the Hay and Murray St Malls, Zensaki do both a sushi train and an extensive a la carte menu divided into sections - Starters, Salads, Deep Fried Dishes, Grilled and Pan Fried Dishes, Skewer grilled, Bento sets and Ramen, Udon and Soba Noodles. 

Accompanying us for the meal was our friend Gita, who worked with Alissa in their theatre company The Duck House, and was her housemate before Alissa and I moved in together. Gita is an excellent cook and foodie, and as she is a vegan it meant we would get to see what how Zensaki would do catering for dietary requirements. 

As it was fairly late for dinner, Alissa and I decided to quell our hunger with an item from the sushi train. It was a soft shell crab roll topped with egg, prawn and sweet chilli sauce. As far as sushi goes it was at a decent standard, but nothing mind-blowingly good - I've definitely had better. The flavour combination seemed not particularly classically Japanese, and the egg in particular seemed strange as it was the texture I'd expect from an egg sandwich with mayo. It would have been better if it had been tamago, and with a different sauce instead of sweet chilli. As this was a one off sample of items from the sushi train we cannot give a full review of what their offerings are like overall, and I'd like to think it was more to do with a bad selection on our part than a necessarily bad sushi train selection in general. 

Gita ordered some Edamame beans for us to share. These were a nice salty snack, about the average standard for these healthy and addictively tasty beans. There is not much more you can do with a dish that is boiled or steamed beans with salt, and this was done well enough. 

My order was the 'Ultimate' Ramen with tonkotsu broth, from their choice of tonkotsu, miso, shoyu and shio. Since I didn't want the salty-sweet flavour of teriyaki sauce to affect the flavour of my broth and since I don't like bean sprouts, I chose to omit these items. The broth was sadly a bit lacklustre. I don't expect any ramen place to reach the kind of insanely porky gravy-like consistency of Gumshara in Sydney, but part of what makes tonkotsu such a delicious broth is how concentrate the flavours are and how the hours of boiling result in some kind of magical chemistry that gives it its that milky collagen-enriched consistency. Zensaki say their broth takes 24 hours to make, however they must be watering it down as this was a little thin, and a bit tasteless. 

Which is a shame, as they got everything else pretty much spot on. The chashu slices were amongst the best in Perth with a lovely melt in your mouth flavour that bested the chashu at Kai. The egg yolk was nice and half set and the karaage was tasty and remained crispy in spite of being in a broth. The noodles may not have been the best I've had, but they did have a nice springy consistency and were better than the non-ramen noodles Arigataya served us. Speaking of which; if only Arigataya's broth could be combined with everything else Zensaki do - that would really give Nao and Dosukoi a run for their money. 

Of the main dishes ordered, Alissa's was easily the best - Soft Shell Crab Udon Noodles Soup. Presentation alone as impressive, being served in a metal bowl on top of raised wooden rack. The 'in-house broth' tasted like a miso-soy that was quite nice with the udon noodles, which were fat and juicy as udon should be. Topping of deep fried soft shell crab had that satisfying crunch you expect from soft shell crab. Fewer components than the ramen, but they got everything right. 

I felt bad for Gita when I saw the Stir Fry Vegetables, as they did not look particularly tasty or well made. 'What's that on top?' Gita asked at the sight of the moving flakes sitting on top. 

'That's katsuobushi,' I said, 'and you'll want to remove those since its fish'.

Of course Zensaki were not to blame for the katsuobushi being on top as they didn't know that Gita was a vegan, but the low standard of the dish in general was very disappointing. Gita scraped the katsuobushi onto a side plate and I tried one of the carrots in the pile. Even encrusted in katsuobushi, the carrot was very bland and uninteresting. I regularly make stir fry at home and I could have done a better job, even when I can't be bothered and use pre-prepared veggies. I noticed Gita continuously pouring soy sauce on the vegetables before combining it with her bowl of rice. 

'Not enough soy?' I asked.

'Not enough of anything'

Ouch. 

The Verdict: Good

I'm not sure what to make of Zensaki. On the one hand, they did a terrible Stir Fry Vegetables, a thin, tasteless tonkotsu broth and the one sushi train item we tried was good but not amazing. Conversely, they made a mean udon and got everything else right in the ramen. Perhaps they have such an extensive menu that they don't quality control all their dishes, and if Gita and I ordered better we would have had a more satisfying experience. Still, if its not good, it really shouldn't be on the menu and they should seriously rethink that stir fry. From a ramen standpoint, I'm wondering if Zensaki are just not tonkotsu specialists and that one of the other broths may be better. The first time we had Kai, the miso broth was disappointing yet the tonkotsu was a winner so it was a good thing we didn't give up on them. For this reason, I'd come back to Zensaki again as I'd like to give them a second chance. However, if I was gonna bring a vegetarian to a Japanese restaurant, Zensaki would not be the place. 

Arigataya, Northbridge, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

The first Star Wars film I saw as a kid was not one of the original trilogy, but the spin-off film 'Ewoks: The Battle for Endor'. I would have been about 7, and I remember thinking the film was awesome. In my teens I worked at the same video store that I had rented Battle for Endor from, and with a sense of nostalgia took it home to watch one weekend. What had once seemed incredible to my 7 year old self now seemed really cheesy; with terrible acting and dialogue, and extremely cheap and unconvincing sets and bad stop motion effects. And c'mon - a Galactic Basic-speaking Wicket? Please. Yub nub, eee chop yub nub.

I mention my experience with the Battle for Endor because dining at Arigataya recently was a similar deflation of nostalgia. I was introduced to ramen by a good Japanophile friend of mine many years ago while hanging out at the Bird in Northbridge. Arigataya was closed that night, but as a life-long noodle fan I had to give this a try. When I finally got to eat there I was greeted by a taste sensation that knocked me off my feet. It was a bowl of spicy miso ramen, and the broth was incredibly umami and delicious, the noodles having a lovely springiness and the thinly cut chashu having a delicate, fatty melt-in-your-mouth texture I'd never found in Chinese barbecue. I was an immediate fan and ramen obsessive, going as far as to cycle into Perth for a bowl of ramen when I was living in Alfred Cove, discovering Nao and Dosukoi so I had more options and buying David Chang's Momofuku cookbook so I could try and make this heavenly dish at home (I've tried, but never had the time to do a proper tonkotsu right at home. It will happen however).

A few years ago Arigataya seemed to change hands as they started calling themselves 'the New Arigataya'. The new owners at first seemed confused about their own menu, but after a short teething period they seemed to have got it right again -slightly different, but still delicious. It was this Arigataya that Alissa first tried, and she too became a convert to the ways of ramen.

With Kai so close, its been over a year and a half since we last had Arigataya's miso ramen so after a night out at Perth Fringe it seemed like a good time to go back to where it all began. I had decided before we arrived that I was going to go with the Spicy Mega Ramen - an enormous bowl of spicy miso ramen that comes with three times the noodles and all the toppings - eggs, karaage and chashu. Alissa decided to try their black garlic pork broth which comes in the more reasonable standard size, and seems to be in a similar style to the Akamaru Shin-Aji from Ippudo. 

Usually I talk about each dish separately, but since the strengths and weaknesses of each bowl were basically the same, it makes sense to discuss these dishes collectively. Both had excellent broths - Alissa's black garlic pork broth had her eyes light up with happiness at how delicious it was. And it really was - I felt it was better than the similar broth at Ippudo as it found the right level of extreme garlic flavour without being excessive. My broth likewise was a really good, wonderfully umami miso broth. I think tonkotsu broth is easier to love due to its extreme porkiness, but this is a miso broth that can compete on equal footing. The chashu was also excellent. Incredibly tender and flavoursome, it could hold its own against some of the best I've had. 

But that's where the positives end. Arigataya have never been the best at getting the eggs right and they certainly have not improved, with the eggs being so cooked that the grey ring of overboiled had formed around the egg yolk. Additionally the karaage was not very crispy, and had a floury texture that did not compare to what I've had at Kai and Dosukoi.

The egg and the karaage are forgivable, but when I stirred up the dish to get the chilli mixed in I found that the excellent, springy round noodles that Arigataya used to use seem to have been replaced with a flat mee pok-style noodle that was soft and lacked that lovely springiness I've always loved about ramen noodles. I know that ramen noodles come in all kinds of shapes and thicknesses in Japan, but these overcooked noodles could hardly be seen as an improvement - and I don't even know if they are actually alkaline noodles. Instead, this substitution came across as a lower quality cost-cutting measure that tasted an awful lot like the mee pok I could have bought cheaply from most Asian gourmet grocers. I wonder if they had simply run out of noodles and ran down the road to get something as a substitute, but given that they have a reputation to uphold they should not be trying to pass something off as something else. Such a shame, as there was so much potential for greatness here squandered by a poor noodle decision.

The Verdict: Good
It so sad that Arigataya seems to have dropped in quality. Maybe they've stretched themselves too thin with such a huge menu of different broths that they've tried to cut corners in other areas. I mean, their broths still are excellent and so is their chashu, but a bowl of ramen is more than just these two elements and unfortunately they have let their standards slide in all other respects. Alissa is more into the broth than the noodles so she had a more positive experience than I did, going as far as to say she liked it better than Kai. So if noodles are not as important an element to you then Arigataya might be right. As it stands, I don't think I could recommend Arigataya to my friends - and as the place where I first fell in love with this amazing dish, that's really sad indeed.

Ohnamiya, Myaree, Western Australia (Alissa and Don Eat Australia)

When I used to live in Alfred Cove my local Japanese restaurant was Ohnamiya, located on Kearns Crescent in the shopping complex at the corner of Canning Hwy and Riseley St. Since moving to Bateman, we've become massive fans of Kai Japanese but decided to go to Ohnamiya's new Myaree branch for something different.

The new branch is located in the Asian food hotbed of Hulme Court in what used to be an all you can eat Chinese restaurant, and two stores down from an established Japanese restaurant called Nishi. Unless its closed down, there is also another restaurant across the road that does Japanese for a lunchtime trade as well!

The menu at Ohnamiya is basically centred around a choice of a main that is then served in various bento box sets, ranging from a simple rice box to the deluxe box with agedashi tofu, salad, sushi, boiled egg and cold sesame chicken. There are some other options - sashimi and sushi plates, curries and bowls of udon, though sadly no ramen - but I'd hazard a guess that most people order from the box menu.

Tea is free flowing with a dispenser in the middle of the store, similar to their other branch on Kearns Crescent and the main Taka's in Perth.

We decided to get an entree of the Aburi Maguro with Miso Mayonnaise - slices of raw tuna topped with mayo that were then blowtorched. This was the highlight of the meal, with the flavour of the runa and the torched miso mayonnaise being very delicious and umami-rich.

Alissa and I both felt like the Teriyaki Chicken for our main, though she decided to get the Deluxe Box without rice while I was craving for sushi so went with the Sushi Box instead. I think we've become very spoiled by Kai because the Teriyaki Chicken just did not hold up in comparison to the excellent, tasty and succulent chicken that Kai make. I'd compare Kai's version of the dish to more high end Japanese restaurants in terms of authenticity and quality, whereas this was closer to the standard I'd expect from cheaper food court establishments.

I was particularly disappointed with the sushi, which was very ordinary - I would rate it lower than what I can get as Sushi Sushi, let alone somewhere like Koh Grill and Sushi in Singapore. At this price point I don't expect very much, but I think their selection of California Roll, Teriyaki Chicken and Vegetarian was very unimaginative.

The Verdict: Good
The quality of Ohnamiya's food was decent enough but its mains were closer to the cheaper, Taka's end of the market - only the entree really stood out for me as being a cut above. With Taka's the price is so cheap that its well within its price point and while Ohnamiya are on the cheaper end of the market, knowing that we have Kai so much closer to us and with better food at very reasonable prices I just can't picture us going to back to Ohnamiya in the near future.

Raffles Tiffin Room High Tea, Raffles Hotel, Singapore (Alissa and Don Eat Asia Day 21, Part 2)

Sometimes a cultural practice is so intrinsically linked to a single place that the two things seem inseparable. Such is the case of High Tea and the Raffles Hotel in Singapore. High Tea in proper British parlance is the working class equivalent of dinner, however in Singapore and other former British colonies High Tea has come to mean a very cultured and proper afternoon tea of scones, finger sandwiches and cups of tea served in the late afternoon. In Singapore High Tea remains a popular institution long after the end of the colonial period, and that most grand of colonial-era hotels - the Raffles - has a long held a reputation as the place to go. For as long as I've heard of its prestige as a child, I wanted to one day have High Tea at the Raffles and the occasion of Alissa and my honeymoon seemed like as perfect a time as there ever could be. 

By this stage I'd worked out that the horrendous wall of humidity that Singapore has as a climate was not good for collared shirt wearing (required for entry at the Raffles), and Alissa had to reapply some make up for the same reason of sweatiness. Using the very luxe bathrooms in the courtyard, I put on the collared shirt I was wearing while Alissa touched up her make up before we approached the Tiffin Room.

As we were escorted through the large, high ceiling room with superfluous fans (sadly, not the same as the famous Long Bar fans) the sound of a harpist filled the air with Christmas carols and background music standard fare. We were sat at a table near the right side of the buffet, and given that this was the Christmas High Tea our multi-tiered cake stand featured fruit mince pies, fruit cake and a red white chocolate shoe filled with cream alongside the more standard assortment of sandwiches. 

Alissa went to go get scones and sweet things while I started with savouries. How different our food priorities are. The sandwiches - ham, smoked salmon, cucumber and cream cheese, egg and tuna - were sadly very ordinary. I know they're are probably sticking to a long held traditional style, but these were sandwiches anyone with a loaf of ordinary white bread, the fillings and a knife could put together fairly easily and when compared to how amazing sandwiches are in Vietnam it seemed a little lazy and uninspired considering the price we were paying ($78++ each, which was even higher than usual due to the Christmas period).

Anyway, Alissa returned with her plate of sweet things - the classic jam, cream and scones, a Strawberry and Rose Tartlet and another item I cannot for the life of me remember what it was. The jam and scones were good, nothing amazing but tasty enough. They were neither the best nor the worst either of us have ever had, and the sweets were again okay but not necessarily memorable - obviously, as I even forgot what one of them was!

Being that this was our honeymoon, we decided that we would order the most classic of Raffles drinks - the Singapore Sling. Invented in the Long Bar by bartender Ngiam Tong Boon sometime in the early 20th Century, the true recipe is still something of a secret though internet sources (read: Wikipedia) suggests that it was heavily modified in the 1970s and is now more often than not premixed mechanically, even for service at the Raffles(!). The cocktail we had was very tasty, but again just not memorable. We'd had similar drinks at Ambrai in Udaipur, similar but better drinks at Indigo in Mumbai, even better drinks at the Gin and Tonic Bar in Hong Kong and the best cocktail of our entire trip at Don's in Hanoi. Perhaps its because it is so famous its much copied or perhaps the premix process has ruined some of its more subtle nuances, but the combination of pineapple juice, gin and cherry brandy (among others I couldn't quite detect) was a fairly stock-standard cocktail that was neither simple enough to highlight the individual flavours (eg something like a gin and tonic or a martini, where the quality of the gin shines through) or complicated enough to become greater than the sum of its parts (like the incredible Pho cocktail at Don's). 

After a few sips I went to investigate the spread of food, and to get myself a savoury plate. The lights shining down on the savoury pastries were what I thought were hot lights, however based on the fact the sausage rolls were only slightly warm meant that these items were not the best. I'm a bit pedantic about food being served at the right temperature, and as a fan of hot sausage rolls this was a disappointing reminder of why I'm not a huge fan of buffets when these things have not been fully considered.

The dim sum spread was served at a correct temperature. I didn't try the char siu bao, but I did try all three dumplings. The har gao-like dumpling was actually vegetarian and was okay, as was the chive dumpling. The siu mai was a bit better, being tasty enough although being made from chicken rather than pork it lacked some of that delicious porkiness I expect from siu mai. That said, I did go back for more of them.

I'll give them kudos for one thing - the fruit selection was very good. All four fruits - pineapple, watermelon, dragonfruit and melon - were very sweet and refreshing. This obviously does not take a great deal of culinary skill, however it must be said that whoever their supplier is had given them very good fruit.  

We noticed diners on other tables had been sheepishly avoiding actually eating the red coloured white chocolate shoe, so Alissa and I decided to give it a go. The chocolate was tasty, with small crunchy chocolate balls hidden within the cream filling. Probably one of our favourite of the sweet items. 

By this stage I was feeling a bit full and disinterested in the food, however I took some additional photos of some of the other items available before heading to the ice tea station. 

This was genuinely very good, having a selection of a few ice teas which could be tailored to taste with honey, lemon juice, sugar syrup, ice, and lime and lemon wedges. 

The Verdict: Good
One of my pet hates is paying a lot of money for a meal I could have easily whipped up myself. Hence why I'll happily fork out over $600 AUD for a meal for two at Caprice but complain about paying the unacceptable $6 for two piece of toast and pre-packaged jam and butter some breakfast places in Perth think is a reasonable price to charge for putting a piece of pre-sliced bread in a toaster and then putting it on a plate. While nothing at the Raffles was that bad, the prices they are charging for their food does not correspond with the quality I would expect at this price point - the food was only on average good, with the sausage rolls being only okay. What you're paying for is to sit in a nice room, but I've sat in nice rooms in a lot of restaurants where I felt the price was justified (see Caprice, Dum Pukht and the Chocolate Buffet at the Metropole in Hanoi) and frankly, I'd rather an delicious meal in a place with spartan surrounds than waste time on something that is not particularly special. Sadly, I feel the Raffles resting on their historical laurels means that unless sitting in a nice room with harps playing in the background is your thing I can't really recommend the Tiffin Room High Tea.